The Two Types Of Chemistry Which Exist Between People
One of the most fascinating pastimes for people who take an interest in the dynamics of relationships is the notion of “chemistry” – why are we attracted or repelled to/by certain people at certain times? Some look to astrological types, or personality type systems and others to a more random “x factor” that makes it work between people. Obviously things are not always straightforward, as we might fall in love with someone and then at another stage feel nothing at all, or maybe feel the exact opposite to the initial feeling. This is a wonderful thing to think about and reflect upon as it can open up a level of enquiry about the very nature of relationship; why we have relationships, how they work, what to pursue, what to avoid etc.
The real question is: Is there any rhyme and reason to the chemistry of human relationships or is it completely random, based on undefinable factors and parameters?
[There is] a distinction between two types of “chemistry” which we will refer to here as “Attraction through Time” and “Attraction through Space”. The basic problem with most, if not all, ideas about relationship chemistry is that it lumps both of these very distinct and separate aspects into one homogenous lump called “chemistry” – a notion which includes emotional connections, sexual attraction, intellectual compatibility, perseverence and staying power and a thousand other things. Therefore, if someone says to you “Keith and I have great chemistry in our relationship”, it might be that they have a good sex life and yet they have nothing to talk about. Yet later on, someone else might say, “Betty and I have great chemistry” and be referring to the opposite situation, great conversations but a dormant sex life. Both are adamant however there is good chemistry between them! The confusion can be endless.
The reality of the situation however, is that Attraction can happen in two ways; through Time and through Space. These two ways, though they might seem to end up with the same result (finding someone you are attracted to) are actually quite different processes. Its important to have the discernment in which to see them both clearly. […]
Attraction through space can be visualized by having one central “magnetic” point in which both people are drawn to, from their respective directions and orientations. It is the desire to be occupying the same space as someone else, in that sense to share a moment. Sexual desire is an obvious example, in the most physical sense. Something within us desires to share space with someone else, to be momentarily fused together in a way which dissolves time. From the world of probability, something finite and pointed “happens”. This is very exciting, we are having an “experience” – something defined, real, physical. […]
Attraction through Space is the “magnetic” attraction that happens between people which both people can objectively point to and identify as the same force regardless of their subjective perception – “Look its the same magnetic force bringing us together, I know you are aware of it too.” This means that, effectively, both people are in the same space since the magnetism cannot be in two places at once. The “physics” of the relationship (I am using the scientific terms poetically and metaphorically rather than literally) requires that the magnetism be uni-directed, using all its energy to achieve its goal. […]
Attraction through Time. This is the type of attraction that is rarely brought to light. Although it is a huge factor in relating, it usually gets swallowed up in the more common attraction through space “chemistry” and not seen as distinct. What does it mean to be “attracted through time”?
It surely seems a very bizarre and abstract concept. It can only be realized when we see that an individual is not just a body and personality but is also a “zone” of time, a wave function in which is spread out or “smeared” through time a la quantum physics. This is a very interesting concept, for when we think of the present, we usually think of something central and definitive, something “happening now!” Yet as a wave of probability, the present becomes something else, something happening all at once and yet is nowhere you can pin down. […] The attraction which occurs is something that bypasses the physical. It is a kind of harmonic resonance between people, a sense of being in the same time zone with someone, being “in the flow”. In modern terms, what people call “sharing the same wavelength” is sometimes descriptive of this phenomena.
When you have a resonant time connection with someone, it is not magnetism and karma which holds you together and maintains the relationship. It is a more subtle, less physical connection. Here is where the paradoxes get interesting. [They] usually want different things in life and so may not have the same cohesion and organisation in terms of working toward a common goal. However they usually desire each other! In this way there is usually more warmth, acceptance, romance and harmony than in [Attraction through space]. However there is not necessarily the common thread which binds them and structures things. This is one reason why this system has some great practical applications, for being clear about this basic duality helps you to attract the right relationships and avoid the ones that are not appropriate at the time. […]
[All] things in Life are a dialogue. There are seven colours in the rainbow, seven musical notes in a diatonic scale, four seasons all talking to each other. […] All of them are necessary, and appropriate at certain times. All have pros and cons, blessings and dangers. Just like a knife can be used for murder or for carving a beautiful sculpture. Relationships carry potentials which can be recognised and identified through this system. Then, the consciousness of the people involved determines how it is used. Our insides are arranged, I believe, through the interaction of four types of “somatic glue” and our outer relationships are mirrors for these processes. […] At any rate, there is a harmonic correspondence between inner and outer relations which this system reveals. This should be enough to fuel the fire of enquiry.
Attraction through Space and Attraction through Time. Both of these forces can be seen to be both strong and weak, and the strength of one infers the weakness of the other and vice versa. Similar to the “uncertainty principle” of physics. […]
Attraction through Space occurs when a common magnetism draws both together into a localized, physical moment. Space is a kind of crystallized time. Magnetism and karma are strong. Both tend to be drawn to each other through an impartial law which cannot be controlled. Both are held together over time in such a way. The space they exist in can be identified as a particle/point. They tend to be held together through the pursuit of a common goal, yet do not often want each other as much as they want their impersonal direction. Attraction through time gives a feeling of being in sync with someone else, though the connection can be more vague and harder to identify than the Space counterpart.
A more telepathic and spiritual connection is possible. They may not share the same objective direction or goal but they do desire each other and generally find happiness and health more easily. The danger of course is a lack of direction and with less holding them together, maintaining a structure in the physical world over time can be difficult. It takes people with a sensitivity and unwavering interest in themselves or their partner to maintain these relationships.